on imagining what it might be and what it is
This last month I participated in a writers group and as part of of it I have been imagining what I want this newsletter to be. It was useful and generative. It also asked for us to push these newsletters into something that does something legible. I realized that I want space for experimenting. I want intimate, a little weird, and shapeshifting. I wanted to invite you in with this piece of writing below to the dreaming up process and to give you some tastes of what might be coming!
The tulips have taken the party sideways. They lean down for warmth and light.
Breakfast and kneepads are spread on the floor.
I just pried a sticky pecan off of my bathrobe.
My mind is smudged because of the hours awake in the middle of the night with a baby getting her teeth.
It’s 9:02 am and I have already somehow had a parent teacher conference, made and cleaned up breakfast, moved this body, smeared toothpaste on teeth and inadvertently bodies.
And its quiet save for the birds and clicks of a house heaving and sighing.
If it were a dream there would be images of secrets. There would be poems. Scores. It might be zine. Things would be written in a combination of handwriting, drawings, code, and recipe.
It would have glossy surfaces and sticky textures. And each day there would space for a prayer.
A prayer for the gift that is living.
Or the bitter warmth of camelia leaves in hot water.
Or the bleat of a foghorn.
The delight of an old man whose face is my face as he holds his dog to the camera.