touching what I have here

on the subtlety of newness

Part of my new year, January expanse has been slowly redacting and touching what I have here. Looking at what is here and available Today I pulled out an old sweater, deep blue, striking, chewed up by when the moths invaded everything just around when the baby was born. There is a huge whole in the center of the chest, an ugly lumpy line eaten up from the belly. I pulled it on and thought about what color I’ll use to mend the holes, knowing it will draw attention. My fingers softly touch the hole and I’m relieved that it wasn’t purged when I got rid of the damaged sweater collection. I left it, and now get to stick my fingers in this funny shaped hole, right where my heart is.

Yesterday while on the phone with a friend about the scale of planting garlic, I pulled out all the poetry in my library, lined them up. I need them for research for a project but I also needed to touch each spine, set them in the windowsill, and remember they are here too. Each collection taking up some visual space, present. It’s possible someday my bookshelf will be organized, the books standing up smartly next one another but for now here are the poems all touching each other and me when the moments allow, touching them.

In the unearthing of my desk, sewing machine, almost dry bottle of ink, tape, flower seeds, I rediscovered a jar of rosebuds that I keep with my herbs for making tea formulas. And let me tell you..that was fun! It has been rose everything since then, a petals on top of the oatmeal, the ordinary black tea strummed to life with pink., plans to subject all the teachers at the children’s school to a blast of fragrant summer in their morning muffins.

And maybe through the re-discovery, the inahbitance of finding those flowers I also will be transported some kind of tiny, potent, portal to be in the perfume of things, in sweetness, in unfolding buds, in delicious spines. Ridiculous petals. What a world we inhabit.

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Also:

Coming in the last days of January a new meditation for subscribers so look out for that!

For sometime to sit together and explore, come to a short talk and meditation we’ll do together. Being and Breathing happens February 7th , 5-6 pm Pacific Time. It is really wonderful to practice together and I look forward to seeing some of you there.

This incredible essay really got me. Please read or listen to it!